back
Posted onJanuary 30, 2010
Filed under Uncategorized | Leave a Comment
I miss you, Blog. I wonder if you miss me too. This is like going back to a ghost town.. Is anybody still here? Are you still there?
The other page is fun, like you’re at the heart of civilization, and sirens are blaring and neon signs are flashing all the time. Sometimes though you seek a piece of quiet. Like you need old friends to sit in silence with from time to time. No words need be spoken.
My comfort nook is, after all, this public little private space right here. I’m glad I found my way back. Now to wait for the inspiration to come.
the impostor
Posted onDecember 5, 2008
Filed under Uncategorized | 2 Comments
Of course I am pissed
but in the spirit of Christmas
I will take the high road
and offer you goodwill
in exchange for the havoc
on me you have wreaked
for pretending to be
somebody you’re not
for lingering long enough
to break the rules
but not to pick up the pieces
I bid you peace
for dressing up the truth
with guile and warped logic
for lacking the decency
to set the record straight
I forgive
for excusing yourself from
the standards you apply to others
for defining moral
as it serves your purpose
I give you the benefit of the doubt
for calling out the pretense
and professing to keep your distance
I say, thank you
so long
stay there
I hope you reap the benefit
of your good choices,
be given grace for the bad ones
thank you for the lessons
thank you for the times
have a nice life, you jerk
feels like December
Posted onDecember 2, 2008
Filed under Emo World | 3 Comments
I saw a movie today. Alone. And I never go alone.
At least, can’t remember the last time I did. It seems so pathetic… and forlorn.
Like a you-and-me-against-the-world kind of thing, except there’s no ‘you’.
I’ve had this long-standing insecurity too about being seen going about my business–or should I say, pleasures– solo.
Quirky, yes, but highly unnecessary in this case since there’s no threat in any way similar.
In fact, I thought I needed it. Not the threat, but the time.
I needed the time for myself, something that I don’t really afford these days.
The result was therapeutic, the movie– sweet. At one point,
I even laughed aloud without being self-conscious about it.
When you’re alone, that’s got to be worth something.
Like, I don’t know… spontaneity points. courage. crap.
No matter, it was an unintended catharsis that actually felt good.
There was time to spare before my ride came so I decided
to walk the short distance to the nearby coffee shop.
The night was chilly but I was snug and happy with a hot Starbucks in hand
and Michael Buble crooning thru my earphones.
“I’m dreaming of a whiiiite christmas…”
What is this– a scene from a cheesy Gwyneth Paltrow movie?
I passed by a bunch of police officers snacking on sticks of kebab
beside the mall entrance. Lamb? Pork? Uh, mind your own business.
One of them smiled and said hello, and it felt great to actually flash
a smile at someone than at no one in particular.
Then my soundtrack switched to a happy holiday tune
and I couldn’t really imagine Gwyneth clicking her heels together in
chirpy abandon no matter how much she is tempted,
so had to shake off that reverie.
But not before a couple strays into my line of vision
and casually embrace, stealing the show from my movie.
Tsk. Pwede?
This is what December does to me. It fills my thoughts with hogwash
and those thoughts, in turn, impose on somebody else’s time who arguably
deserves to read something more intelligible.
But you probably know what it feels like.
tough job
Posted onNovember 27, 2008
Filed under Hansel and Gretel | 4 Comments
The headrest from the driver’s seat promptly disappeared as husband made a dash for some ice cream inside Rite Aid on our way home. I didn’t need to turn around from the front seat to know that my little rascals were at it again.
Earlier on this short ride it was the Polar Express book, and also one’s paper turkey project which the other plucked a feather from, the pencil, the scarf, and the now latest object of Hansel and Gretel’s incessant tug-of-war is this innocent, defenseless car accessory.
Wearily, I tell them to put it back. “Somebody’s gonna get hurt with what you’re doing.”
“But moOm, josh is teasing me!”
“No teasing.”
“But mom! ate did this to me.” (gesturing with tongue sticking out)
“Ate, don’t do that.”
“Liar, liar pants on fire!”
“I’ve got 1 word for you: payback!”
“Hey!”
As the familiar fussing and whining and telling ring out, my brother suddenly crosses my mind. We used to fight a lot too when we were younger, being only less than 2 years apart in age, but I don’t remember our exchanges being this smart-alecky, or that we ever had such an expansive vocabulary with which to needle the other. O tungod lang ba kay ininglis?
This routine tit-for-tat can be a strain to a mother’s patience, to be sure, but on less toxic days it’s become a constant amusement. I do try to keep a straight face although on occasion I make the mistake of letting a chuckle escape– to dire consequences.
A parent needs to be a parent after all and discipline has to hold sway over cuteness.
So here I go, “Okay, if you don’t return the headrest and I hear a cry from either of you because you got hurt by it, you’ll both go straight to bed when we get home; no dinner, no ice cream.”
The ominous threat managed to silence the sparring for about 2 seconds before a plea is whispered loudly by the eldest to the youngest, “Please don’t cry when I pinch you..”
Parenting is tough? Tell me about it.
seasons: a footnote to the nature blog
Posted onNovember 17, 2008
Filed under Hansel and Gretel | Leave a Comment
My little poet offers her own perspective… How awesome is that? 
Seissons
by Noelle Francesca Gloria
Winter, spring, summer and fall
I just love them all
I wonder where and how they got there names
Maybe they got the name winter because it’s cold and frosty
Or maybe wint stands for wind and ter stand for cold
Maybe they got the name spring because flowers grow,
fruits sprout and trees grow leavs.
Or maybe sp stands for suprise and ring stand for grow
Maybe they got the name summer by summ stands for hot
and er stands for vecation
Maybe they got the name fall by the leavs. Leavs fall
and they chanchg color like red, orange, brown, yellow
Is that how they did it?
(published with permission from the author, age 7)
making peace with nature
Posted onNovember 15, 2008
Filed under Random Thoughts | 1 Comment
I sometimes marvel at the miracle of the changing seasons. Having been accustomed to the monochromatic weather palette of my home country, I am captivated by the austere beauty of climate shifts and frequently transforming landscapes where I now live. I haven’t always felt this way, though.
Being an essentially tropical person, I can’t stand the cold and winter for me is, for the most part, crippling and oppressive. 
That is not to say that I find haven in the summertime either. I can almost swear that the heat here pierces your skin more sharply than do those caustic Southern rays I was used to. Or maybe I’m just nitpicking.
Fall provides a welcome relief from the heat but soon there creeps in the air a pervading gloom that nestles in the heart of the ensuing season.
Spring is my only consolation. It gives me hope and an optimism not unlike the feeling you get when a new year comes around.
I used to wonder how people can endure such inconvenience: how, in every three months or so, you’re compelled to change your wardrobe, the thickness of your sheets, your activities; mount or take down the air-conditioning units, prime up your home and vehicles for the more severe weather… It’s a perpetual cycle that allows a very narrow window for physical — if not also, emotional– transition.
I don’t remember exactly when I started to view this whole natural phenomenon differently. I do realize that when I stopped resisting the change around me, it was like an epiphany of sorts. Living through a year which has been compartmentalized into periods of distinct color and texture gives you a better appreciation of the fact that time, instead of dragging on and on, does fly so fast… you need to savor every moment. 
Each new season provides an opportunity to start over, like a quarterly review of personal goals or the necessary purging of things that don’t work. The fact that people who have had to contend with these circumstances longer than I have go on with their lives as usual is evidence of man’s resilience and, most importantly, God’s care and provision.
On a more trivial sense (trivial, of course, being relative), what could be a better excuse to adopt a new look, try a different style, or buy those new boots? There’s simply a slew of possibilities when you have the right outlook.
So this tropical pilgrim has learned to celebrate the piles of amber and mahogany-colored leaves that accumulate on the sidestreets during autumn with the same fervor accorded to the first sprout of daffodils in her garden at springtime. 
I’ve learned to embrace the grace and dignity of the bare branches of the old oak tree during the quiet of winter, in the same way I appreciate the majestic foliage of summer.
I’ve made peace with the inevitable course of nature and I do believe I’ve grown the wiser for it.
how many times can you say ‘history’?
Posted onNovember 7, 2008
Filed under Random Thoughts | 2 Comments
Wolf Blitzer of CNN couldn’t have described the weight of that moment better. When the camera panned to the mammoth crowd in Grant Park as they erupted in spontaneous cheers immediately after the announcement that Barack Obama will be the 44th president of the United States, he said people will remember exactly where they were and what they were doing on that fateful hour when history was made.
Quite accurate too. I was curled up under a heavy blankie in front of the TV, all spent with the strain of anticipation since the break of that day. Strangely enough, when my mother-in-law who was beside me let out a squeal of delight in response to the breaking news, I couldn’t utter a thing. Those words had such a profound effect, it was extraordinary.
Many have written, and certainly many more will write, about how this singular event has affected the nation and the rest of the world: how a relatively obscure, rookie senator from Illinois, an African-American who carries an unusual name, won the hearts and minds of millions with the message of hope and change, ending the most epic of presidential contests in US past with a decisive and resounding victory on November 4.
But that night was also the culmination of my terrible year-long obsession with the political drama that was Election ‘08, and as much as I am ecstatic with the results, I am filled with deep sadness as I bid this whole spectacle adieu.
And so with a final reluctant wave, I want to look back at my personal highlights for this drawn out campaign season:
the Clintons vs. Obama - You wondered will the primaries ever end? the Republicans have long closed the deal with John McCain and here were the Democratic frontrunners, throw in pesky Bill Clinton, still bleeding the race dry. In the final throes, you can almost hear a collective voice saying, “Hillary, Hillary, just go down quietly Hillary, and we won’t think the worst of you”.
the Democratic National Convention - the great speeches (Obama’s stirring acceptance speech promptly found its way to my ipod), the magnanimity of Hillary Clinton in the aftermath of the bitter primary battle, the simple decency of the personalities and messages put forth; it was a distinguished moment for American politics.
the Republican National Convention - if the DNC was decent, the RNC was just the opposite. With all the vile emanating from its podium, the gathering kind of left a bad taste in the mouth. It’s the day I lost all respect for Rudy Giuliani and completely diminished my regard for his 9/11 heroics. Also the day the world got to meet Sarah Palin and witness her assumption as the official attack-dog of her ticket. The only respectable man in their awful lineup of speakers, and thankfully so, was John McCain.
the Presidential debates - I sincerely like McCain and I particularly admire his heroism and courage during the Vietnam War, but his verbal sparring with Obama on these 3 separate events only showed his opponent to be more presidential and as capable as he was in dealing with the pressing issues of the nation. For many, the debates effectively erased the Republican ticket’s argument that Obama is not fit to lead.
the Vice-Presidential debate - the most watched debate of this election season, or ever. the winking, the ‘Joe Six-Packs’, and the ‘mavericks’ are now considered classic.
Tina Fey on SNL (click link) - a deadringer for the Veep candidate, Fey’s Palin impersonations were scarily right-on-the-money; the day she burst into primetime via the season premiere of Saturday Night Live sent Election ‘08 to the level of stratospheric hysteria.
the Woman in a McCain rally who believed that Obama was an Arab (And the other men who stood up to urge McCain to “give it to” the Illinois senator) - You could just cry in dismay at all the hate and bias that was thrown around, or you could cry for how McCain, like the honorable man I’ve always believed he is, denounced such statements right there and went on to offer kind words for his rival. It was to be one of the shining moments of his campaign that had, at that point, been veering dangerously towards the incendiary.
‘Robert Gibbs owns Sean Hannity’ - Aside from the Davids Plouffe and Axelrod, Obama’s campaign manager and chief strategist, respectively, there’s a third chief that completes the formidable triumvirate behind the most successful presidential campaign in history: Obama’s chief communications director Robert Gibbs. In the thick of the campaign, the deceptively soft-spoken Gibbs guested on a show hosted by Sean Hannity, a rather pompous broadcast journalist on Fox News who was trying to pin guilt on Obama for his association with ex-terrorist Bill Ayers. When Gibbs turned the tables on him in his own show, Hannity was almost hyperventilating in helpless self-defense while his cool as a cucumber guest demolished his argument. Super gotcha moment.
the Alfred E. Smith dinner - it was during this fancy Manhattan charity event that people got a respite from the increasingly rabid rhetoric between the two campaigns and discovered that the presidentiables also had a wacky side. Both McCain and Obama were given a chance at the podium and each delivered a comedic address that even had the stiff-bowed guests loosen up and double over in stitches. The frequent reference to McCain’s calling Obama ‘that one’ (famously anecdoted from one of the debates) and Obama’s admission that he got his middle name (Hussein) “from somebody who obviously didn’t think I’d ever run for president” are just a few of the good ones.
‘Solid as Barack’ (click link) - one of my favorites in the SNL election ‘08 series. When Barack Obama purchased a 30-minute airtime in major television networks in the homestretch of the campaign, he was so far ahead in the polls that in this episode, the faux, future first couple decided to just air an ‘Obama Variety Half-hour’ featuring “prominent figures” in the Democratic party, and the first couple themselves, singin’ and swingin’ it. Totally hilarious.
the Announcement - for me, it was as if time stood still when Charlie Gibson of ABC said these words: “It is now 11 o’clock in the East. It is 8 o’clock in the West. The polls are closed in those states. ABC news is now ready to project that Barack Obama will carry the state of California, carry other states in the West. Barack Obama will be the 44th president of the United States. Barack Obama has been elected president.”
Mccain’s concession speech - after a long and hard-fought battle, the Arizona senator concedes with dignity intact
And the acceptance speech of the President-elect - Barack Obama makes history as the first African-American in US history to assume the Oval Office.
The rest is… well, you know.
of blogs and what-have-you
Posted onOctober 1, 2008
Filed under Career and Gi-Career | 3 Comments
I have a sneaking suspicion that I may be more OC than I’m willing to admit. Not in the strictly clinical sense… just my intuition.
Proof? I’ve spent more time fiddling with all sorts of options on this site, customizing and recustomizing, than actually blogging in it.
What can I say? I’m a stickler for the fancy new stuff. It’s a bloody job but somebody’s gotta do it. I’m crazy like that…
♥♥♥
I’ve always been infatuated with a copy editor’s job, but not until this past year have I really thought about it as a career.
I’ve googled it and found a lot of opportunities, but because of stiff competition I realize I need to arm myself with more than just a predisposition for the craft. This means going back to basics and really earn some mean credentials.
Do I have the patience and discipline to pursue it at this point? Interesting question. But can I just get back to you?
♥♥♥
Meanwhile, as a result of my piqued interest in publishing lately, I had the chance to reflect on how I came around to blogging in the first place.
To be sure, nobody had to twist my arm despite the ‘reluctant’ tagline; well, okay, it’s half truth and half sarcasm. My closest friends were also my personal cheerleaders so it wasn’t that hard to get started.
But there were also these blog posts that I’ve been keeping tabs on for quite a while, some I’ve picked up along the way, and they provided just the needed amount of inspiration to get my own page going.
They’re witty, tongue-in-cheek, down-to-earth; some insanely funny, others heartbreaking; some very informative, generally well-written, all entertaining, and all so genuine. So why not a shout-out to my favorite bloggers?
I hope they don’t mind my mentioning (or better yet, linking?) their sites here as follows :
1. Belleslettres…a Journey by Rosebell
It’s as real as you can get. Plus the girl is a literary genius. And yes, she’s also my best friend so of course I love my own. 
2. Adventures of an Island Girl by Marvi
Another good friend. And whose writing prowess I’ve always been in awe of since 6th grade. Hail Marvi!
3. Ang Babayeng may Bulawanong Matres by Kaira
Her posts are articulate and very engaging. She writes with such raw emotion, you just want to root for her all the way.
4. My Blog by Conni
From family to health to food to personal convictions, her posts run the gamut. My online guru in coping with life in America.
5. Fay ’s blog in Multiply
It’s like reality TV, only you get to read it. Her punchlines are spot-on and her command of the medium is impressive.
6. An Eye Doctor in a Third World Country by Dr. Tes
My HS batchmate whose candid commentaries about her profession never fail to leave me in stitches. Brilliant sense of humor.
7. Pen is mightier than the sword by Jescel
A truly gifted writer. Insightful posts.
8. Shirlyn’s blog in Multiply.
Her entries reflect smarts and charm. Proud of this girl.
♥♥♥
I wish there were more of my friends’ names in the list. As they say, the more the many-er. But to each his own time. Or stuff, I guess. Just refer to the OC above. 
discovery summer
Posted onJuly 7, 2008
Filed under Bisdak Adventures, Coming to America | 3 Comments
Catching a ride on the subway one day, this quote - one of several interesting patches of trivia that adorn the train walls - caught my eye:
“There are roughly three New Yorks. There is, first, the New York of the man or woman who was born there, who takes the city for granted and accepts its size, its turbulence as natural and inevitable. Second, there is the New York of the commuter–the city that is devoured by locusts each day and spat out each night. Third, there is New York of the person who was born somewhere else and came to New York in quest of something. Commuters give the city its tidal restlessness, natives give it solidity and continuity, but the settlers give it passion.” -E.B. White (Here is New York, 1948)
And just like that, the itch to further explore Gotham city is again alive in me. Obviously, my New York is the third, but things have to be placed in order and priorities set, such that individual passions are bridled for a while… Until the right time comes along.
I don’t know how long I’m gonna call this place home. I may be moving on tomorrow, in another year or a couple more, but I’m determined not to pass up this chance to experience the throbbing and heaving of its culture beyond a tourist’s eyes.
This summer. It’s about time.
in gratitude
Posted onJune 26, 2008
Filed under Hansel and Gretel | 2 Comments
My daughter Cheska (who is called Noelle in school) has just passed 1st grade in flying colors. We are very proud parents, indeed!
As this year was very critical to her successful assimilation in a new and foreign school system, husband and I are also all praises for Cheska’s wonderful teacher who has helped her accomplish just that. In fact, she was everything we hoped a 1st grade teacher to our 6-year old could be, and even more; so much so that husband and I decided to give her a bunch of flowers and a heartfelt letter of appreciation on the last day of school. Thought I’d share excerpts of it below:
“Dear Ms. Trotta,
As this school year comes to an end, we, Noelle’s parents, want to make sure that you know how much your effort and dedication to teach our child is very much appreciated.
When Noelle first arrived in P.S. 154, she was not only new to the school and its educational system but also very new to the country, having arrived from the Philippines merely a month before classes started. Back home she would have begun the school term in Kindergarten but, due to the difference in age standards and curriculum between the two countries, she ended up as a first-grader and, most importantly, with you as her teacher. As to why we couldn’t have been happier about this will become clearer in a while.
As you very well know, Noelle struggled at the beginning of the term. She could hardly read and write legibly. It was a challenge for her to adjust to her new environment both at home and in school. She also had a hard time, as her early work showed, keeping up with the new concepts and lessons taught in class. 
We presume it’s because she may not have been as familiar with many of these concepts as her classmates who, unlike her, may not have skipped a grade level. We could just imagine how bewildered she must have been, sitting in her chair, with all this activity going on around her. But, as we would later realize, our anxiety was unnecessary.
Noelle was with a teacher who truly cared for her students; one who displayed passion, patience and enthusiasm for their growth and learning… We may never know what happens in your classroom most of the time, but this much we know: our daughter’s progress in reading and writing was tremendous. 
(I almost cried with happiness when I learned that her reading level jumped from approaching standards to exceeding grade level expectations in only a few months.) She is much improved in mathematics and most everything else. She is also now more confident in her speech and actions and in relating to her classmates. That she has achieved all these while slowly developing a sense of responsibility and self-discipline, among many other values, only shows how well you have taught and influenced her. It is not hard to see why she adores you and speaks so fondly of you.
But what we are most thankful to you for, Ms. Trotta, is how you’ve helped us ease Noelle’s transition into her new world, how you showed her kindness and consideration when she was obviously out of her comfort zone and treading unfamiliar territory. You turned a difficult and possibly frightening experience for her into a very pleasant and inspiring one. Because of that you have our highest respect as a teacher and as a person. Thank you very much from the bottom of our hearts.
More power and may you continue to be a blessing.
Sincerely,
Mr. & Mrs. Rico Gloria
(parents of Noelle Francesca Gloria
class 1-213)”
